Frankly, I do not know. I’m sorry to all who have been concerned or anxious. Primarily, I have just been doing my job which happens to be rather tedious these days as a course comes to a close and a new one in 2 weeks. A temporary expansion of job scope didn’t prove to go down to well. I was physically and mentally tired. I finished work at 1130pm last night and I had a few missed calls, which I didn’t return because I didn’t want to. I don’t feel that I am ineffective as I am one of the more efficient ones around.
I had sleepless nights over the past month. With great issues on my mind. I had to decide where do I go from now, as I come to the end of my contract. On Christmas Eve, I will be a civilian and less liable to the laws of the military. I need to know if I want to carry on and work towards being an excellent officer in a high position in the next 20 years. I need to know if it was the best for me as well. Yesterday, I was approached by a senior commander. He pitched the idea of overseas attachment to me. He would like me to head to a certain country for a year (which usually extends to 2) with him. Boons will be hunted while banes are denied. I am honoured to have recieved a personal invitation, however, I really would like to go for my degree which I have postponed for 3 years (to date, I have given up 3 places in universities). I had enough of placing the organization at the forefront of my life and neglecting my personal development. I asked myself if I was working hard because I wanted to fulfil the higher calling that I had as an officer or was I working hard to achieve a certain rank and secure a proper retirement. To that, I always felt the higher calling and just living by it proved to be detrimental to myself. I felt shortchanged and sorrow grew.
Was it a progression to happiness? Was it a progression to self actualization? I know not, for I have only lived a good 24 years of my life.
They say I needed faith. I tried faith. I had faith. Things do go awry when you read the wrong books I guess. “God is not Great” by Christopher Hitchens did highlight a perspective that I had forgotten. It was the perspective that I had when I grew as a child into a teenager. “To all things, there are facts and facts can be found, measured and analyzed.” Sadly, there are many who are blind to it in this day. I am a Christian and remain a Christian. Yet, there are many so called facts that prove the story otherwise. i’m not saying that I believe in the facts of the otherwise but they do take up my time in verification. If there is a possibility of God being real, there is a possibility of the non-existence of God, definitely.
It is often quoted “Faith is the substance of things hoped for and evidence of things unseen.” It’s a very well phrased way to put it but if you look at the current existence of “Faith”, it may very well be “the act of hoping for a minor probability. If it happens, it is attributed to God. If not, it is attributed to the faithless self.” (This is a definition which I came up with my observations.) I know I might be inflammatory to write this very post, it is the very reason why I haven’t updated for so long as I have many Christian readers who may feel very apologetic. The best part, is to share this with a Sociology trained person and it is reaffirmed. We all need open minds.
If we put probability aside and say that God is real and the Bible is true in an unanimous fashion, we contradict that very statement when the act of God fails to occur in times of calamity which had intercession. Why doesn’t all prayers get answered? Because of a lack of faith? That is the action of attributing a failure of the minor probability to the faithless self. If the prayers get answered, “Thank God“.
If I work out the probability of events, be it big and small, and only pray for things that fall in the high probability range, God seems to work. If I pray for things in the low probability range, I’ll have to pray really hard. If this statement is true, probability would be at work more than God is. This may be looking at the issue from a binary logic view, however, it forms the most critical and tangible argument.
I was provided a thought regarding the validity of the Old and New Testament. If God is omniscient and all present, why are both of the testaments restricted to their localities? Why did God choose Judea & Samaria for His story and allow the Aztecs to come up with the following excerpt at the same time?
“The legend of Huitzilopochtli is recorded in the Mexicayotl Chronicle. His sister, Coyolxauhqui, tried to kill their mother because she became pregnant in a shameful way (by a ball of feathers). Her offspring, Huitzilopochtli, learned of this plan while still in the womb, and before it was put into action, sprang from his mother’s womb fully grown and fully armed. He then killed his sister Coyolxauhqui and many of his 400 brothers and sisters. He tossed his sister’s head into the sky, where it became the moon, so that his mother would be comforted in seeing her daughter in the sky every night. He threw his other brothers and sisters into the sky, where they became the stars.” Andrews, J. Richard (2003). Introduction to Classical Nahuatl, revised edition, Norman: University of Oklahoma Press. ISBN 0-8061-3452-6.
Huitzilopochtli was the supreme God of Aztec civilization. His creation was also of a birth without conception. There are more than 40 cases of births without conception that can be found in the faiths of this world. Huitzilopochtli may be far fetched as being much more pagan compared to today’s context. Siddhartha Buddha was also of a birth without conception. Apart from these, there are many more “faiths” being born and practised throughout time.
If God is omniscient and all present, He would have know the existence of all these various “faiths”, especially the sacrificial rituals of the Meso-american cultures. Why did God allow the many other “faiths” to exist, if Christianity is to be the “Cure All“? Why does the Bible only mentioned certain places and not a world view if it was inspired by God? Why are the blood offerings of paganism allowed while God expected burnt offerings from the children of Israel? I do not have the answers.
One final point before I end this post, what happened to all the people in the Old Testament? There isn’t a very good idea of what is eternal life during the Old Testament, nor was there a saviour who would take away their sins. Wouldn’t that mean the people of the Old Testament enter damnation because they haven’t heard the Name of Jesus? That isn’t a very fair way of doing things in the pretext of a fair and righteous God.
I have screwed my own brain enough. Now I am reading a book “Evidence that Demands a Verdict“. It’s supposed to give me the reasons why God is real. It comes in 2 volumes. I hope I get through it well.
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