This is a very, very long post as it culminates my experiences and thoughts for the past weeks.

Though my trip for work may be over, i felt that today wasn’t a really good day. it’s not the things that happen to me. but the witness that i bore to the events around me. today is a clean up day. it’s when we sort out all the stores and account for the stuff we used in the past mth. maybe it’s myself and my own bad attitude to things. i can’t see how things can work out in the long run. maybe i have asserted myself to be wiser than the rest. maybe i am utterly wrong. but i dun feel any guilt.

can you imagine seeing a good group of young officers scramble for lots that dictate their slots for duties?

so much for officership and gallantry. it was but an utterly disgusting demonstration of how the organization has failed to bring out the “best” in every man. JK stood by me, he was about to rush forward before he noticed my silent protest of waiting for the final lot. Us, being the most senior in the group but held the same rank, found it hard to convey our point on the respect of protocols and decorum.

i did another silent protest on the day that of touchdown. i felt accommodation should always be allocated in a manner where privilege is granted to senior ranks. i didn’t think that day because i held some seniority, but i felt my superiors deserved a little more respect from the “New Kids on the Block”. It was another free for all event. once again, i protested by choosing to bunk at the most undesired of all.

of the above events, what is clearer to me?

i am tempted to say that everyone is different and to each his own. it has become a revelation to me that those are an alternative belief to the root of the problem. i speak, in every man that is put to work, much is expected. the faithful and the respectful gains much. i can understand if a fellow colleague who barely hit his 20s acted in a self centered and ignorant way. thus, it is unacceptable for somebody of 10+ yrs to service to act that way. Both acted together with the same intent. i choose to be nice and not tell them off the traditional way (in a sense, more than admonishment), yet they could not recieve the hint. but it seems that i have accepted the mistake and reinforced a wrong lesson.

i look at myself and pondered. is it the values they hold or is it the failure for superiors to win respect? wasn’t the definition very clear cut in the ranks we wear? i reflect on my past but i felt that i have fought a good fight and lived by example. i struggle once again with the thought of undesired types that walkalongside me in my line of work. it’s not that i despise them or my desire for disassociation. i joined an profession of arms with the idea of working with able bodied men. but what i saw, i abhor.

i sieved through the chunks of information that was given me in the changes to a “forward looking” & “thinking” organization. i am not a very educated man. i am but a diploma holder. yet, i could easily derive conflicting interest in the limited plans that were revealed. i come to the bare conclusion of the following.

the top echelons of any organization almost (definitely) never has a proper view of their being (even with the adoption of Ogilvy’s 360 Analysis). Policies and decisions made are often to the “good” interests of the organization. it takes much more to decide for the “best” of the organization.

In my case, i have committed time and effort to make good whatever i can. However, i can see the extent of things that will be lost as i move on to other challenged. in the same way that the world goes round with or without me, the world barely changes.

do much with the time in your lives. we don’t have much time. change takes time. therefore, limited changes can be made in our lives. we live and we die. this world progresses and deteriorates as great men die. we must pass on the baton of standards that we establish to a faithful person. we must be the faithful who accepts the baton of our predecessors. who is here to take mine as i take on another?

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Comments ( 1 Comment )

i think you’re the nicest LTA ever. you practically live the bible! and its very difficult to especially in camp, beause what they believe is totally the opposite of your basis in life. but you’re an inspiration! (:PS: please put me under chc leh. haha.  

Andy Feng added these pithy words on Jul 27 08 at 11:31 pm

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